"Faith is hard… but faith brings with it the only possibility of peace and joy in this world— the only possibility of laughter on this mad, mad ride." -N.D. Wilson
A high-speed collision gave a new sense of sight to me
And now my vision can render the scene
I often wonder what God means to do in my life with all of the changes that happen. What does it all mean? For many of us young adults it is often difficult to see the big picture in our lives. We often focus on the here and now. Rather than seeing the possibility of beautiful blessings and pure joy. I sit and worry...a lot. I generally am a control freak, I like to know where my life is going. I am so thankful for the collisions that give me clarity.
God is truly incredible. I know that there is no way that I would have made it through Dad's death without His guidance. I was a very bitter thirteen year old. I questioned God. I called out in hatred. There were many times when I felt that I would never find peace again. How could God do such a thing? Throughout an amazing journey I felt God pull me closer to Him. I could have become a cutter or committed suicide, but God had other plans for me. I prayed many days for peace. I spent many nights in a ball on the floor in pain. There were days when my bitterness effected my relationships with the people around me. Each time it pushed me closer to Christ.
I didn't search for God. But in my time of need I always knew to seek Him, because He pulled me to Him every day. He is my refuge. Nothing makes me whole except for Him. Because I saw this undeniable grace in my life I realized that no one else gave me peace. I desperately needed peace. It has (and will continue to be) a very hard journey but I know that God's plan is greater than mine and His faithfulness is greater than mine.
Do you take the collisions or trials in your life and realize that God uses it for your sanctification? When I feel I am at my lowest point I remember what God has done for me. I remember that I was dead and he made me alive. He has comforted me and given me peace.
Happiness returned to me
Through a grave emergency