...All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Everything has been amazing, in all actuality. I can't complain and I am so amazed at everything God has been teaching me and blessing me with. I think it is more of a matter of me focusing on God's plan and direction rather than my own vision for my future. This has been the biggest lesson for me. How do I listen to God and reform my heart to fit those plans? I've realized that my end goal hasn't changed but pretty much every other aspect of how I will reach that has totally changed.
Do you have a ten year plan? I have a five year, ten year and even a twenty year plan. I even have multiple backup plans for my future. In case it isn't obvious, I'm a planner. To the extreme. This also plays into my incessant need to control situations (an issue I would gladly be rid of). So naturally my life would be planned out. I'm okay with being prepared and knowing what I want to do. It was definitely a blessing to know that I wanted to become a midwife at the early age of fourteen. I was happy to be the overachieving high school graduate who actually knew what they wanted to do. But the lessons of learning to go with the flow have been frequent lately. God is definitely teaching me to find contentment in Him rather than my little plans.
Little did I know this time last year that I would be six months into midwifery school. What a blessing! I am so happy to be actively pursuing that dream. It continues to prove every single day that I made the right decision and that God made me to be a midwife. Some area are harder than originally perceived and trying to organize my schedule is definitely stressful. Because this school is primarily correspondence at this point it is hard to constantly be self motivated in my study schedule so that it definitely teaching me dedication in an area where I am not very strong.
In April I started an amazing job in the local hospital. I get to work in the ER and do transcription for the doctors. I have learned SO much about the medical industry environment and a lot about medical jargon. My biggest hope was to get experience in an emergency situation so that when I need to transport a delivering mother I can have a reputation and a presents that brings respect to my job. I also couldn't ignore the fact that it would greatly help me to personally deal with any kind of traumatic experience. It doesn't hurt that I get payed. =) God is really teaching to faithfulness in this job. It isn't a christian environment by any means and it is very stressful. I am relying more and more on His faithfulness to get me through.
Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room. So if you are seeing darkness in your life, be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared.