This is one of the hardest posts to write, it means being honest about myself and open on how I acted. Really none of it is as horrible as I am making it sound. But it did teach me a lot. A whole lot.
The summer started out with a lot of drama. And by drama I mean an unnecessary infatuation. Great start right? This plunged me into months of pain and questioning. Things like: Did I act wrong? Was I being a fool? How could I be so blind? In a sense the drama created a monster in me. I am normally a very literal clear headed girl. Lets just say that the girl part of that took full control.
When you give in to drama it follows you everywhere. It consumes your life. It is so distracting! I seriously hate it. Through those months I pulled myself together, got a job, started to read about things that really do matter (like theology, economics, my education in general) and made sure I relied on the friends in my life that would push me toward God and not drama. This helped me in so many ways.
Getting a job was a whole other area that helped me learn and grow. I normally am responsible, but this helped me take more of a hold of my life and my actions. I am so thankful for that.
Another way I know I have changed is with debate. It is an understatement to just say that debate has changed me, it has become a major part of my life and my personality. And I noticed it a lot during the break from it in the summer. But the jury is still out on if it has changed me for better of worse. We will have to come back to that.
The summer was a wonderful time of my life. It was painful, hard, exciting, and definitely sanctifying. But I never want to do it again.
And this is just another area where my life is such a beautiful mess.