Falling from a tree in dizzying. So is a car accident or death. The impact trauma has on our lives does not have an equal in any other emotion. Physical or emotional, it doesn't matter. Trauma can promote change in your life you had never considered. Your friends change, you change, and in the end your whole life changes. Your decision is if it is for better or worse. What do you choose?
I just finished The Vow. It was the perfect amount of sweet and sappy mixed with grief and heartbreak. What struck me was the incredible conviction Leo (the main male character) had in keeping his marriage. He fought for his wife like she was all he cared about. When it came time for him to let her decide for herself he stood back and gave her space. Granted not for the reasons I would have hoped for. But I have never seen a better idea of marriage promoted in a modern secular film than in this one.
How would you deal with the trauma of a adulterous spouse? I have never thought of that before (and I hope I never will have to for personal reasons). But it did strike me how the situation was resolved in the movie. When asked why this woman stayed with a man that had cheated on her she said this..
"I chose to stay with him for all the things he’s done right; not the one thing he’s done wrong. I chose to forgive him. "
What a perspective! How is it that a secular movie can get it right? This is commitment. For better or worse. This is forgiveness even when your heart breaks in two. I can't help but commend this woman.
How would you deal with the idea of losing something forever? Have you ever given that thought? When I heard Leo say the words above, I thought of Dad. One moment changed my life. On moment of impact. An impact that caused everything in my life to fly into chaos. This collision changed me. Some for the better and some for the worse. And no matter how hard I tried, there was no way in my power that I could control any of it. I was helpless.
How do you deal with it? I have no idea how I could have done it without Christ. I tried to grab at everything I was loosing. And then it hit me, why? Why am I fighting so hard for something that may be meant to leave? God has brought incredible people into my life. Many for the long haul and others for a short glimpse. I am thankful for each experience, but not all of them are meant to stay. God has given me treasures and gifts. I cherish each and every one of them. But some are meant to be lost. When you except this, you learn to fight for what matters.
I found out that Dad was never meant to stay with me forever. There was a time that I needed him. And then there came a time to let go, to say goodbye. God only knows when those times are. So we must trust in His complete control. When we seek to control all of the colliding pieces we ends up missing the bigger, more glorious, picture. I choose to remember the moments, the little ones and big ones. Those memories that can never escape you. You learn from them and revel in them. You cherish the present when you leaner to appreciate the past. Let God define your steps, give the control to Him. And those moments of high-intensity collisions will be a blessing in disguise.
"The moment of impact. The moment of impact proves potential for change. Has ripples effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before. While sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you've never thought you've found them. That's the thing about moments like these. You can't, no matter how hard you try, controlling how it's gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding part goes where they may. And wait. For the next collision. "