On february 22nd I started one of those life changes. I agreed to get to know Skylar. Looking back, after agreeing to be his wife, is such a sweet testament to what God can do in our lives.
Skylar first stood out to me back in September, when I first met him. He had a presence about him that I found hard to ignore. At that time, though, I couldn't see him as anything more than a friend. We had interactions on social media on various political topics so I knew we had things in common but I had come to a time in my life when I was working hard to focus only on God and the ministry He had placed in my life. I was nineteen and didn't, honestly, think that God was going to bring this step to me at this point in my life.
Between September and December I remember confusion and excitement. Skylar seemed like a perfect fit for me. He was godly, smart, intellectual, loving, and he hit it off with my family. I loved talking with him. On the other hand, I knew that we had some differences. I think it's important to share this part of our journey with you. It helped define our relationship and where we are today.
I believe that paedo baptism is biblical and it is what I want my kids to be raised in. This is a conviction that I hold on my own and something I found to be important not compromise in. I decided a few years back that I could not marry a man who did not share this belief with me. I felt that it was an important belief to have unity on. This is something that Skylar and I did not agree on. This is what caused my confusion. It seemed like God was setting up something so wonderful, and yet, I knew that I couldn't consciously compromise on this conviction.
In December, Skylar moved back to TX and my family moved to IL without me. I moved out on my own and started to work full time while also studying to become a midwife. When I said goodbye to Skylar I felt like there was no way anything would actually work out for us. January became a month of prayer and studying more on how to be God's daughter and not defined by anyone or anything else.
So, after all of this, you can imagine my surprise when I got a phone call from my mom in the middle of one of my shifts saying that Skylar had asked permission from Phil (my step-dad) to pursue a relationship with me. Let me be clear, Skylar and I had already discussed our beliefs of baptism and knew that we definitely disagreed. He also knew that I am not the type of girl to compromise, I am only slightly opinionated. So he went into the situation knowing that it could very well not work out.
Not only had I said I would never marry a man who I didn't agree with in this area, but I also wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who I disagreed with. Then Skyar walked into my life. I felt that God had something in this relationship for me to learn, whether that was how to be more convicted in my beliefs or . I knew that Skylar and I were a good match and really had a wonderful time together. I definitely liked him. So, now it was time to see just what God had in store for us. I agreed without hesitation.
After that last conversation in March I didn't bring up baptism again until May, and even then, it was not to debate the topic, but to ask where he was at. Because I didn't want to be the cause of his change in convictions, I gave it to God, trusting that His will would be done. I was not going to become a dripping faucet. I definitely believe that was not suppose to be my role.
I had a lot of moments when I wondered if I was leading him on or if we should just end the relationship. I am so thankful that I sought the wisdom of older women. They kindly reminded me that Skylar was actively studying and that I had told him from the start what my convictions were. I was not actually leading him on. I also owed it to him to wait for his decision.
We had not given him a time frame in which to decide. I knew that it could be months. I also knew that it took our pastor two years to come to that decision. So I didn't want to limit him to a couple of months.
In June, Skylar came back out to CA and we spent a wonderful ten day's together. We hiked around one of my favorite lakes, bikes through San Francisco, and spent tons of time with my nephews. I had to learn to share William (who was three months old at the time). He also installed a washer in my house! I also had the wonderful pleasure of meeting his parents, four of his siblings, and two nieces when I joined all of them for a family reunion in Monterey, CA.
So, on a hot California evening Skylar and I video chatted, as usual. I was cooking in my kitchen at the same time when he decided to tell me his decision. Now, understand, I live in the country. So, the internet is weak and that's just how it is. Right as he is telling me his decision my internet breaks out, and I didn't hear what he said. When it came back on he had continued to talk and I had to ask him to restate what he had said before. He told me that he felt that God was calling him to the conviction that paedo baptism is biblical. I was understandably happy. I know that he wanted it to be so much more romantic, but I am still so happy I found out when I did, and even how I did. That had been our life for so long. Only being able to talk for a few hours on Sunday evenings.
On the 26th of July I flew out to IL to spend time with my family, Skylar, and part of his family. I was anxious and excited all at once, not just because I had to deal with the TSA. I wasn't sure how fast things would go now that he had made his decision.
On July 28th, Skylar and I went to dinner, all alone. Don't be too scandalized, homeschoolers. It was great to get out and talk alone. It was so much more normal after so many video chat's with just the two of us. After dinner we went out to the river walk in Peoria, IL. On a picnic table, looking out to the water, Skylar asked me to be his wife. I was blown away by everything that he said and all of the love and hope in his eyes. I don't think I'll ever forget that, and don't ever want to.
The last four weeks have been crazy and amazing. I've been traveling, working, and trying to plan a January wedding, all at the same time. The best part of all of it was being able to see Skylar this week-end.
So, this is our story, from my perspective. God truly did have His hand in all of it. No matter what misgivings I may have had in the beginning, God showed me His incredible plan and gave me the faith to see past any of my doubts. This is actually the condensed version. Never ask me to write anything short, it wont happen. It's been an incredible journey so far and I can't wait for the rest of our lives.