"Fievel,if growing up were easy, would it take so long? "
For many years my Dad would quote to me that line. He would grab me in a bear hug and comfort me when ever I was upset about being left out of old sibling privileges or if I was tired of being a kid. It seems so funny now, that I would feel that way. It seems that my life is succumbed by constant changes in work and personal life. And now I have all kinds of new work opportunities and changing relationships.
I have left many friends behind because of different religious beliefs. I have said goodbye to friends because of bad influences. I have also welcomed new friendships. I am realizing that all of this will continue to change, especially through the next five years. So much is going to change. I am sure many of my peers can relate to the dizzy feeling I have when I think about everything in my life that is constantly fluctuating. The only things that seem to be semi-stable are my family and school. I am thankful that I have those things.
I have started to realize that if or when I ever leave home I want my siblings to cry with me. This may sounds silly, but I want all of us to be upset about it. I want to have a great bond with my siblings. Through this past year I have tried to develop our relationships. I have worked really hard on my attitude and affections toward them. If you have adopted siblings you may understand part of why this is can be hard. The hard life that they lead outside of the family and the possible malnourishment can often cause some discipline issues. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to react badly. But I don't want my sibling to rejoice when I leave home.
My family dynamic is very different and extremely unique. I wish I could have the excuse that it is so different and so hard that my actions are justified. But they aren't. I love them all so much that even if I do move away I want to talk to them every day.
And of course, I think of all of this because my life could drastically change very soon. I am interviewing for a position with a midwifery center in Sacramento CA. They are looking for student midwives to assist in the births. My hope is to jump start my experience in midwifery. This job would be such an incredible experience. And I would be near multiple, wonderful churches and friends. I get to meet the director and get interviewed on the 21st. I would greatly appreciate prayer for this.
I don't want to leave, but I would love to have a life change like this. May God provide everything within His will!
Now I just hope I can fullfill all of the demands