Many a homeschooling father has created a list of questions for hopeful suitors, some have lived to tell the tale of these interrogations. I, personally, have found that these questions can be very helpful in sifting out a potential spouse. I believe that it is a intelligent idea for a father to assume this role.
When Phil, my step-father, was first approached by Skylar about pursuing me he assumed this role, and I am thankful he did. He wanted to make sure that Skylar was truly ready for this step.
There has been jokes made throughout the years about how many men the suitors for me and my sisters would have to go through before they were approved. And, this is true. We have been blessed with many friends and family who love us and want to protect us. I'm not sure Skylar can count on his hands how many times he was threatened while we were in a relationship. Much of it was "You hurt her and we'll come after you". But, everyone also knew that the one person that would prod him and interrogate him more than anyone else was not any man or family member, but myself.
I have been compiling a list of questions for years. This was not with the intent that the man would need to answer all of the questions with essay answers, it was to facilitate conversation between the two of us that was more than just asking about superficial things. I wanted to make sure that this was a man that was like-minded like me and enjoyed the kind of deep conversations that I enjoy. Little did I know that the first guy to ever be presented with these questions would become my husband.
I have also added questions that Skylar asked me in the beginning of the relationship. The first two questions on the list are the first to we discussed. Understand that baptism was a theological issue that we talked about as a couple and was a very important issue to me. I could not marry a man who I disagreed with in this area. I also knew the answer to a lot of these question from our prior interactions but still wanted to discuss these topics.
They are also not in any kind of order.
When Phil, my step-father, was first approached by Skylar about pursuing me he assumed this role, and I am thankful he did. He wanted to make sure that Skylar was truly ready for this step.
There has been jokes made throughout the years about how many men the suitors for me and my sisters would have to go through before they were approved. And, this is true. We have been blessed with many friends and family who love us and want to protect us. I'm not sure Skylar can count on his hands how many times he was threatened while we were in a relationship. Much of it was "You hurt her and we'll come after you". But, everyone also knew that the one person that would prod him and interrogate him more than anyone else was not any man or family member, but myself.
I have been compiling a list of questions for years. This was not with the intent that the man would need to answer all of the questions with essay answers, it was to facilitate conversation between the two of us that was more than just asking about superficial things. I wanted to make sure that this was a man that was like-minded like me and enjoyed the kind of deep conversations that I enjoy. Little did I know that the first guy to ever be presented with these questions would become my husband.
I have also added questions that Skylar asked me in the beginning of the relationship. The first two questions on the list are the first to we discussed. Understand that baptism was a theological issue that we talked about as a couple and was a very important issue to me. I could not marry a man who I disagreed with in this area. I also knew the answer to a lot of these question from our prior interactions but still wanted to discuss these topics.
They are also not in any kind of order.
The infamous questions
- What apologetic method do you subscribe to?
- What is your belief on hermeneutics?
- What is your belief in regards to patriarchy and what the bible teaches on this?
- What is your belief on submission and what the bible teaches on this?
- Do you believe that a woman is acting biblically when working outside of the home?
- What is your belief on modesty?
- Is paedo baptism a non-negotiable for you?
- What does raising a covenant family mean to you?
- Is this your first pursued interest? If no, why did the other(s) end?
- What are your goals for personal education?
- What are your standards for a relationship?
- Do you tend to resort towards independence or dependence?
- What are your goals in the next year?
- What do you believe is the biblical calling of a husband towards a wife, and vise-versa?
- What are the roles of the husband and the wife in the marriage?
- What is you greatest spiritual challenge at this point in your life?
- Why do you believe you are ready for marriage at this point in your life?
- Will you vote on principle or pragmatically?
- Do you enjoy multi-day hiking?
- What is your stance on birth control?
- Do you believe you are ready to be a parent?
- Do you agree with the reformed faith and the five points of Calvin?
- What are the financial responsibility roles in a household?
- What is your favorite thing about your mom?
- What is your favorite thing about your dad?
- Do you believe there should be limitations on media for your children? If so, how would that look?
- How do you feel about your children being in competitive debate?
- Do you enjoy camping?
- How important is economics and foreign policy when looking to a government leader?
- How do you think your beliefs on baptism effect teaching the word to your kids and parenting?
- Do you see yourself doing any long term overseas mission work?
- Do you agree with public education?
- Do you subscribe to austrian economics?
- What are your top five important qualities for a president?
- Are states rights and pro-life equally important?
- What is your position on sabbatarianism?
- What are your life goals?
- Do you believe that women should wear head coverings?
- What was your parents parenting philosophy when they were raising you?
- How do you view women's role in society?
- What is your take on home births?
- How do you think your growing up will affect you parenting?
- What is your view on adoption?
- Have you viewed pornography? If so, is this something you have repented of and no longer take part in?
- What are your beliefs on explicit language use?
- How do you handle conflict?
- What makes you feel loved and less stressed?
- Do you believe that individuals have natural rights?
- What were your growing up years like?
- What does a leader of a house looks like to you?
- Describe your relationship with your parents?
- What is the hardest thing you've ever been through?
- If you could have any job, what would it be?
- What are practical everyday things that bless you?
- Who are your hero's, and why?
- What are five weaknesses that you deal with?
- What are five strengths that you deal with?
- What is one thing that has been the difficult for you to forgive?
- What is your belief on circumcision?
- What does the perfect date look like to you?
- What does compromise look like in a relationship to you?
- What is your biggest fear?
- How do you reach out to family?
- What are some day-to-day expectations that you have?
- What are your beliefs on zionism?
There are a few more that were specific to our discussions on baptism. I think this is a helpful list so far. I'm sure I have more questions written in random note books. I'll have to find them soon. I hope this is interesting and, maybe, helpful to you.